Jelly beans are too small to eat with your mouth closed

Sarah Kay - If I should have a daughter

Ditto.

It began with marble cake (Because i didn't explain it the first tiim)

Are you reading this? these are the words of a girl who can break the heart of a fourteen-year-old boy who jumps before the sharks have left the ocean waters clear. I told Pocket I didn't want something with him and it sort of wrecked him up, or so I heard. I made him smile though, when I asked my geography teacher if President Polk invented the Polka.

I have found that I am rather good at kissing up to teachers. Polo, the boy who used to sit in front of me in second period but was replaced by a rather annoying idiotic boy, told me so himself during a beginner scavenger hunt at the start of the year. (Though he used a more cruder word.) Even a girl in drama mentioned it after I answered Jeremy's question about what a coup was. Maybe that's because I call him jeremy and he used to be a teacher, but he told me and the rest of the kids in little school advanced drama that we could call him that so we do.

Another example is when My English teacher, who's really nice and totally mistreated by our class, asked if anyone wanted to pull down the projector screen one day. I totally wanted to do it and was really enthusiastic, but I couldn't get through the small maze of desks in time to do it so the boys did it instead. She gave me a piece of marble cake for wanting to do it though, so, score!

I don't like disappointing my teachers so I nearly died these last couple weeks when I forgot to do an assignment in English and when I disrupted the class. My teacher never sends anyone to OCS though, but I guess there's a first for everything. She chose the six or so students who were misbehaving to pick a number between one and ten to decide who to send. I was one of them. The number was two and my friend got sent away with a pass that hadn't been used since it was given to the teacher four years ago.

I spontaneously joined glee club!!! so that means I have a club every other tuesday, one on wednesday, one on thursday, and one on friday. I also joined mock Trial which I find more than a little frightening, and Vampire Diaries was SO DRAMATIC this week.

I saw Shrek the musical the other day, it was just so delightful. I might sing one of those songs for the audition for west side story.

Today in drama "Marcus" was turned around in his seat having an argument with my friends about how seniors aren't supposed to be nice. Every time he turned around to face us I would tell him, "You're amazing,"

By the third time he quickly retorted, "F*** you,"

I apologized and looked down. He called me by my last name, and I looked up. "I was kidding," He said, apologetically, with that laughing smile that said I was the most pathetic thing in the world.

I thought my face would explode. A smile couldn't compare to what I was feeling. I think I almost cried. Don't worry, I didn't. IlovehimIlovehimIlovehimIlovehimeIlovehimIlovehim!

I sort of blew my chances with "jane". She's dating another boy again. A bit soon, I think. It was right after she found out that Terrell got with Ruby which I called Delicious in my best sarcastic, loathing voice. I have a bad habit of treating her boyfriends horribly and during PE one period I didn't like how close they were standing. Before he could get closer I walked up to them and pulled him away, stepping between them and saying "Hey, no PDA!"

"Izzy, stop getting in the way!" "Jane" scolded me.

"But, 'Jane'," I protested.

She pointed with her finger. "Go." And I left.

Later I told her that I loved her and that nothing could change that, and that I was just looking out for her and I didn't want to see her get hurt. It got kind of awkward after that since it was in the middle of Drama class and there were three people sitting between us in our row of chairs.

Well, there are doughnuts on monday in Drama, I have a performance at an elementary school on Tuesday, some mock trial junk, some clubs, My senior older sister sent me a letter this week and I might have a meeting or something on Sunday but I don't know since I missed a club meeting, Dragon boat practice starts up again tomorrow. We had a little break after we won second place silver at Treasure Island. BOOYAH!!

Super boy who sits next to me in conceptual physics hasn't been coming to class in the last couple days. I wonder if he's fighting crime.

I've been exchanging secret letters with my senior sister, some of my friends know who she is but I don't want to know. She told me that she likes disneyland, hello Kitty, unicorns, elephants, peacocks, and mermaids. So i drew her a picture of Ariel riding on the back of Charlie the Unicorn fighting Hello Kitty who was in a chariot drawn by and elephant and a peacock in front of the disneyland castle. Apparently she loved it and wouldn't stop talkng about it in Spanish.

My buddy is being pessimistic about my knack for crushing on those who never like me back, but little does she know I have a back up plan with the braces boy who sits diagonally behind me in english. Its fool proof.

I've got to go learn how to play the flute now, until next time my wild berry preservatives. :-*

It began with marble cake

Are you reading this? These are the words of a girl who has the power to break the heart of a nineteen year old man who has basically lived his whole life in his years of youth. These are also the words of a girl trying to get over the guilt of breaking a nineteen year old's heart over facebook without realizing it.

Hello, yes, I might have been avoiding you for two weeks but that's ok because I will make up for it with stories from other dimensions.

My date with Pocket went well, he spent forty dollars on me for a movie and a T-shirt from hot topic. It was rather nice, because I didn't mind the fact that he was trying to suffocate me in the back row of the movie theatre. Well, that was partly because the movie was SO DAMN FREAKY!!! and i had my hands over my face the whole time. I was smart though, I kept the arm rest between us the whole time. I hope he was thoroughly annoyed.

Pocket and i hang out a lot now, we spend lunch together in the PAC listening to Secondhand Serenade while I try to break his fingers as he tries to tickle my wrist. I hate that. It's like when my mother tries to be cute in the car and reaches over to jab her menacing talons into my soft flesh, causing me to cry out in agony as warm, sticky blood drips down my arm.

Ok, so maybe it doesn't happen like that, because, you know, it doesn't.

Clubs have started up in Big School, and though I signed up for six I only know the days of three of them and so those are the ones I will keep. On wednesday I join "Jane" for GSA and on Friday I politically debate with "marcus". Be proud of me, I had the will power to not join his parkour club which meets on tuesdays. Instead I joined the flash mob club which meets on that day as well so I won't be tempted to devour him with my eyes.

Funny story, I accidentally dressed like him one day. I didn't realize it until i was leaving my house though so there was no time to change. I had on a tie and my brothers old shirt with the vest on it. I'm sure i didn't look as pathetic as it all seemed.

"Marcus" and I had a conversation last night. I asked him random questions and he would answer them and they would form a story about Magnus and Alec who were in love and got married in germany, had two sons Ronald and Donald and drank from the fountain of youth Indiana Jones style so that they would be together forever. I stayed up all night pondering the question of what would happen to their children? Would they drink as well? would they become immortal? would they ever fall in love and get married? I'll definitely have to ask him that.

Tonight I will sleep over my little buddy Rach's house with the dragon boat team for there is an extremely important race tomorrow morning which my brother will not attend because he's a bit of a donkey-trench.

I am in love, and once my friends get a squirt bottle, I will be wet every time i say that. But it's true, I'm so in love with "Marcus" and soon, I will go after "Jane" as well. Terrell is now the boyfriend of Ruby. I know, right? It's positively my lucky day, because now I can comfort her and she will fall in love with me. Except, now Pocket is in the way.

I love "Marcus" because he brought my sister and I together. Talking about him made us become closer and now everyday during third period I grab her attentions and say, "Zoe, you're the best!" I also love him because he's just so magnificent and funny that I want to crawl under the covers and hug myself while I laugh maniacally without ever blinking my eyes. I love him so much that even if he went out with Zoe, I'd still be ok with it because he'd still be in my life and that is all I need to be happy. That and Ice cream, no one is happy without ice cream.

I'm not obsessed, I'm passionate. Frighteningly passionate. well, I'm craving amuffin now so until next time my little physicists :-*

Pickles are to be eaten, not to be in

I have found myself in a very pickled situation, and no, it's not because "marcus" hasn't accepted one of my cookies all week, or that my buddy Cassie chased him around the PAC/Drama room demanding a hug, forcing him to hide behind the stage and when he came out he had a broom to defend himself. And it's not because I lied to my mother and went to starbucks instead of studying during the free period on Monday.

There's this boy, and we'll call him , er, I don't know, Pocket! So, Pocket is in my second period class, and during the free period, after returning to campus, My friend and i saw him hanging out with our buddy MoJo, and out of lack of seat on the bench I hopped onto his lap and started playing with his iPod. Of course then a campus supervisor came over and I had to hop off, but by that time Mojo and my friend had gone to the bathroom. The couple sitting on the bench across from us were holding hands, they were friends and acquaintances of ours, and the girl pointed to their hands and then to Pocket's. He held out his hand to me, and I took it, not giving it much thought. Then Mojo and friend 1 came back and friend 1 gaped at me.

"It's not what you think!" I exclaimed. She pulled me over to the side and informed me that Mojo and Pocket were going on a date on Sunday.

Mojo was uncertain, though, and told my to come along because she wasn't sure if she liked him at all. At first I said yes, then I said no, and at the football game on Friday while walking across the bleachers Pocket would always reach out his hand and I would take it until i was out of reach. That night he friended me on Facebook and we exchanged numbers.

Then, on Saturday, after a horrible dragonboat practice, I attended a party with my parents and was invited again on the date by Pocket himself.

He is such a guy, trying to be charming in texts. I remember on the drive up to the party he asked me, "You know what I love?"

"What?" was the inevitable response.

"Your hair," He replied. And that night there was a similar conversation: "You know what I love besides your hair?"

"What?" the usual response.

"Your lips, and your smile," He texted back.

I then made a bunch of funny faces in the mirror involving my lips. Experimenting with different smiles. lips closed or open? should I open wide with my teeth as if I'm laughing? or keep them closed? Experimenting with different lipsticks that stained my teeth.

So as Sunday came about, I tagged along on the date, bringing Zoe so I wouldn't be alone. Pocket was a half an hour late.

We saw a fabulous chick flick at the mall and had ice cream and pretzels. Now, Mojo was saying how she didn't like him at all. It was then that I started wondering if I had feelings for him? If so, what would happen with "marcus" and Jane" ? I quickly remembered a scene from my dream that i had that last night. How I was at someone's house and "marcus" was beckoning me into a pool. We jumped in with our clothes on and started dancing and I kissed a lot of boys in space.

I couldn't think much more on my dream because Pocket was feeding me a yellow skittle that tasted like bad bananas.

Lord of the Rings was the movie being played when Zoe and I got back home. Mojo had told Pocket she didn't like him and that I did and he was texting me about how much money he spent that day.

"Yeah," He was saying. "I was hoping to ask this girl, Izzy, if she wanted to go out Saturday night,"

"Oh no, she would have loved to go," I sent back to him. And so it was settled, and now I've got this butterfly, sick feeling in my stomach that I usually get before I'm about to do something stupid or unfamiliar. I've never been out on a real date before, and I don't dare ponder the thought. If I over think it, I'll flake like a bad case of dandruff. Maybe that's what I should do? It probably isn't very fair that I go out with him the weekend after Mojo did. Was she being truthful when she said she didn't like him? Was I being truthful when I implied that I did? I was having fun in the moment, I'm not sure how I feel about anything. Heck, I don't even know how I feel about my extracurricular activities!

and what if "Jane" ends up liking me, and I'm already starting to go out with Pocket? What then?

And what if "marcus" realizes that I am the most amazing human being on the face of the planet and starts interacting with me with more than a "stfu" look that he usually gives me.

Well, of course, that might never happen, but a girl can dream can't she?

What if I fall out of love with my fantasy future?

What if I become serious with Pocket and it lasts more than two weeks?

What if he tries to kiss me on our first date?

What if a zombie disease broke out and Pocket and I were the only ones left alive on the planet and we had to restart the whole human race, combining our DNA with dragonflies to create human hybrids that take over the world and murder us both, enslaving the little offspring we have come to produce through the years?!?

I DON'T WANT TO GO ON A DATE!! I've only just started Big school! I'm too young to be tied down!!

Piano lessons start back up thursday, until next time my little chicken tenders :-*