I hear your whispers, they sing in my mind

They wake me in the night, but you are gone

Your presence is a comfort not sure why

All that is left is a ghost of someone

Beneath the covers I tremble in fear

Dark visions of you flash under my lids

My body goes still when I feel you near

I live for your touch, I starve for your kiss

My heart makes me quake for it beats so fast

I love you, hate you, need you so badly

Uncover the face hidden by a mask

Reveal the love I'm falling for madly

I am afraid nothing is as it seems

Being haunted by you inside my dreams

I apologize for the big delay, I've been meaning to post something for a while now, I just, well, didn't. It is times like these when I wish I had my own laptop, so I could post at night when I'm in my bed. That's usually when I think the most. So the picture of the day is a girl lying in some bright green grass with the sun shining on her face, her hair open like a fan.

This week has been, er, magical. Well, at least it feels that way. Though I am a bit unhinged, I've never been so booked before. There was so much going on all I wanted to do was complain, curl up with my computer, and watch Assassins Creed commentary videos. A bit pathetic, but still. It was actually quite funny because everything seemed to fall magically into place.

Did I mention that I was going to try out for the school's last day of school variety show? It was on the tenth and I sang "Mother knows best" from tangled with my buddy Cassie as my Repunzel. We practiced in front of Mr. RVW before the tryouts. He says I'm very talented. Did you know that he's vegan? Neither did I.

I must say that Tuesday was the most stressful of all, my girls were performing that morning, I had the variety show tryouts, and my band concert. There was also a rumor going around that the High school Drama auditions were being held that day as well. Thank my toenails that was false, and I went straight up to the boy who started it and put my friend Trinity through so much stress, and I shook up his room-temperature soda. Yeah, I'm not afraid to go there. The real auditions are on the 26th of this month.

Now you guys are probably confused about what I meant by my girls performing. Did I tell you about bringing in scenes for Drama? Well, mine wasn't chosen for the little kiddies to perform, but out of the few there were, I had to direct one. And I did, right into the ground. Golly, I never want to direct a scene again!! No one was cooperating right, I was being called mean, the girls were talking back, and on the day they were supposed to perform we weren't ready at all. One girl was in crutches, the rest were still uncomfortable with their lines, but one of my gals was missing that day so it was postponed to the next (aren't they lucky). I couldn't be there because I had to get a physical that morning, four shots and they made me pee in a cup :( . Well my little chickies didn't do too good and my teacher still has to yell at me for it.

In other news, I finally made plans to have a sleepover with my friend KC. I couldn't do it before because I was always so busy. It was last night at my house after Dragon boat practice which gave me a cold, an oboe lesson that had to be rescheduled to this morning, and rollerskating where I talked about my latest obsessive future plans with Lilly and failed at skating backwards. We were going to watch a ton of movies but I was about to crash so we could only fit in tangled (I've almost memorized all the songs, just got the rest of the duet and Healing Incantation to learn). I've always been a little awkward about having school friends over at my house. I like my home life and school life to be separate, know what I mean? Is that strange?

Mr. K kept scolding me on Tuesday night during the band concert because little sixth and seventh graders were talking to me and I was sort of, maybe responding to them in a conversational manner. I always find it frightening when he gets mad at someone, because he talks so casually when he is yelling at you. It might not sound like yelling, but trust me, it is.

We're swimming in school, just thought you should know. I forgot to bring spare under garments one day, it was emancipating.

On Friday I went to Great America and got a terrible sunburn. AND OMG!! I must tell you about the amazing musical I saw that night. Razia's Shadow A musical performed by my sis's big school was SHAMAZING. It was all singing and beautiful dancing and dramatic love tragedies and oh my goodness I just wanted to die in the sea of graceful girlies and boys in guyliner.

And as I was gazing up at who I thought were the two most beautiful people in the performance (I need cool code-names for them, er, Jane and Marcus) I had a spontaneous fantasy. Jane and I would fall in love and we would want to have a baby so we would use Marcus's donation (of course he would never know about it). We would have a son named Magnus and later in the future Jane, Marcus, and i would run The Funhouse, an Inn which houses the most exciting and freaky and beautiful people in the world. But one dreadful night Jane would creep into Marcus's room, waking him with her soft sobs! She would be so overwhelmed by keeping the secret of Magnus's true father father from him that she couldn't help but tell him the truth and then Marcus would get so angry since I had kept it from him that the next morning we would have a huge fight in the kitchen and we'd break plates and everything! TaDa! Then it would be like that one movie, er, Vicky Christina Barcelona? Is that what it was called?

Squiggly lines have appeared all over my skin, some are red and rashy, others are dry and white. I think the chlorine from the swimming pool is having a bad effect on me.

According to the doctor I have eczema, which I guess is a scientific word for really dray and itchy skin. Like dandruff I guess. It doesn't make me feel too comfortable. Makes me feel special though, which I always enjoy.

I am so glad that I write down all the topics I'm gonna cover, makes my job a lot easier.

And since we're whipping through this so well, how about them Sharks, those of you from San Jose? No, they stink and they should lose a whole lot so I can graduate Little School in the God Damned Pavilion!!! Smart people only graduate little school once and I'd rather not do it in the gym, because you can't drink freaking Italian cream soda in a freaking gym!

Isn't it strange how our teardrops aren't blue?

That not everyone turns the same shade of pink.

Our skin cannot be as white as our bones.

It makes me wonder, it makes me think.

If someone is dark, are their hearts truly black?

When in love does it turn a lavender shade?

When one wears white slippers, is she graceful?

When she dances, is the same magic made?

Though it may look it, hair can't be gold

And a depressed woman's wold isn't grey

She will smile and embrace her own white light

For it will all become clear someday

We had to write a color poem for language arts, that was mine. We also had to write a graduation speech and a few lucky students might get picked to compete to see who will read their's at promotion. Well, in second period while Trinity and I were engulfed in The Outsiders, my teacher called us out into the hall and told us that ours had been picked to compete. I seriously was surprised, I mean mine was extremely short and not exactly professional reading material.

I have become very frightened when I think at night. Sometimes I feel as though my thoughts aren't safe. As if someone is watching my mind. This paranoia has come to the point where not a day goes by that I don't suspect someone.

Well thank you for joining me for this sudden burst of inspiration to post something, I know I probably confused you by going through a bunch of random topics all at once. I might not be able to shower tonight, you should be feeling rather special right now because you just took up my shower time. "Yes Doctor, I concur." Until next time my little spiders :-*